


Obey My Fist!

by Kori_Miraju



Category: Invader Zim
Genre: Adult Versions Of Characters, Alien Sex, Comedy, Drama, GaGR, Kinky, Lemon, M/M, Other, Porn Watching, Robot Sex, Science Fiction, Sex Doll, Yaoi, ZaDr
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-11
Updated: 2019-02-12
Packaged: 2019-03-28 23:19:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 19,267
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13914300
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kori_Miraju/pseuds/Kori_Miraju
Summary: Middle Skool has long been over. The sun rises and sets each day as it should, and the Earth still revolves as it always has for everyone expect for one now young adult male. Dib knows his nemesis is still out there and he is waiting... Ever waiting and ever ready for the day that green alien comes back to try to destroy the Earth once more. Years have passed but it won't change his unfaltering determination to reveal to the world that aliens truly do exist.Won't you come and play, Dib? There is someone who has been waiting for just the right moment to return.*Mainly a ZaDR fic, but has semi-graphic descriptions of other relationships as well.*





	1. Doom Is Coming.

**Author's Note:**

> I made this for the sheer fun of it. So don't take it too seriously. Neither am I great at random comical moments, so bear with me. 
> 
> Is it graphic? - A bit.
> 
> Weird? - I suppose In places. 
> 
> Feeds my inner crazy person? - You better believe it!
> 
> -From Cyprus  
> With Love. ❄ 
> 
> Enjoy, **_HUMAN MEAT FILTH!!!_**

_How many years has it been?_

_How many years… Since-_

**Boom!**

“Damn it, Gaz.” Dib grumbled to himself as he sat alone in his room staring once again at his laptop computer, its screen covered with the same images he had stared at on so many other occasions.

**Boom!**

The walls rattled slightly, the line up of Polaroid photographs and small trinkets that covered his desk quaked as well to the sound that was coming from just below his flooring.

“Why does she always have to do this!?” The boy’s patience now but only hanging by a thread forced him up from his desk seat and stumbling out of his bedroom, into the less quiet world that was the rest of his house.

“Gaz! Would you keep it down?! I’m trying to focus!” He shouted down the steps towards the living room.

The thunderous sound of what he had figured was the TV continued on unchanged.

“Gaz!” Dib yelled once more after descending down to her level, the ground level of the house that is.

“What?” The girl scoffed as her brother walked over to beside where she was sitting on the couch.

“Keep it down! What I am doing is very important, I’m trying to protect humanity, remember?”

The normally indifferent girl turned only her head to glare at him, her fingers still pressing the buttons on her game controller with ease as she guided her vampiric minion across the TV screen and towards their piggy nemeses.

“I’m almost to the next level.” Glass cutting eyes tore into the boy’s soul along with the over enunciated words she spoke in defiance of her older sibling.

“Please Gaz,” Dib sighed before beginning to plead. “I’m nearing a breakthrough, I just know it! And I can not be disturbed by the sound of you playing your petty games!”

_**"Petty?!?!"** _

A foul feeling suddenly overcame the room. The temperature dropped and the electricity in the room began to flicker. Dib felt his blood run cold as the game the girl was playing suddenly froze. It wasn’t paused but simply stunned still as if the game station also had ceased movement in indescribable fear. Gaz stood, a strange wind swirling around her even with the game controller still in hand; she showed barred teeth and the wide eyes of a enraged animal.

“Okay,” The boy’s slightly trembling frame caused his voice to shake as well. “Not petty, just different, that's all…”

“Humph,” Gaz scoffed, the room inexplicably returning back to normal as she herself once again sat down on the couch to resume her strangely normally working game. “I see you still have that pussy.”

“I do not have a pussy!” Dib retorted angrily. This had not been the first time Gaz had accused him of such a thing, and for her to continuously say something so demeaning…

“Do you remember that I have braved that alien’s home base many times all on my own?! I, BY MYSELF, alone have thwarted many an evil scheme by him! I have protected Earth more times than I can count! And you dare say I have a pussy!?”

“Yeah. I do.”

He couldn't see it, but Dib was sure his little sister was rolling her eyes at him at the moment.

“That ALIEN is still out there, Gaz! And I have to-”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. Would you stop being so loud?”

“ME?! ME NOT BE LOUD?! This is not something to be taken lightly!” The boy clenched his fists, his head held high as he felt suddenly determined to have his presence not be so ignored as it was at the moment.

“Dib, knock it off. It’s been six years already.”

A deafening silence overtook the room, except of course for the sound of squealing piggy's being slaughtered on the tv screen.

_Six years…_

_That’s right._

_That's how long it’s been._

_That's how long since he disappeared without a trace._

“Just-” Dib’s words stopped short, his sudden righteous resolve shattered. His head and shoulders slumped and his fists unclenched themselves without thought. “Just keep it down. Okay?”

“Pfft. Whatever.” The girl returned unphased.

With heavy steps Dib walked from the living room and into the kitchen. All that yelling had made him thirsty, even if he had been yelling for practically no purpose at all.

“You’ll see.” He assured himself aloud as he thought of the purple headed girl in the other room. “You’ll all see someday.”

 **“Hello, son!”** A strong voice called from behind him just as the boy had finished filling his glass with water.

“Hi, dad.” Dib replied solemnly as he turned to greet the newcomer to the room.

**“Had a good time at college today?”**

“Not really, dad.”

 **“Oh? And why not? College is a place of learning after all! A bright,** **_tall nineteen year old_ like you loves learning! Don’t you?”**

“What does my height and age have to do with anything?” The boy asked rather confused.

 **“Nothing at all,”** The older man assured, **“Saying it just helps people understand that you are no longer the young, small, weird yet eccentric, large headed boy you used to be! Instead you are now a** _**legal age**_ , **tall, weird yet eccentric, normal headed boy you used to be!”**

Both males stood silent for a moment as if trying to comprehend the sentence that had just been spoken.

“Okay… Look dad, learning is fine but,” Dib hesitated a bit before continuing on. “none of my teachers or classmates believe my stories! They all think I’m nuts, just like in high school! I’ve shown them proof more times than I can count but they still-”

 **“Ha Ha! Oh, son!”** The professor’s voice still held the perpetual confidence it always carried.

“Oh that’s right. You don’t believe me either.” A scowl overtook the boy's face as he began to try and sulk away towards the stairwell and hopefully back to his room unnoticed.

 **“Now, son, I do too believe you.”** The man assured, taking a strong hand and placing it on his son’s shoulder, restricting him from simply walking off. **“I believe that you are just as much the genius as I am when you put your mind to it. You just have to apply that genius in the right way. The way of** **SCIENCE** , **for example.”**

“Right,” The boy replied, unimpressed by his father's passionate speech. “Thanks dad, I’m gonna go upstairs and study for my class tomorrow.”

 **“That's the spirit, son! You are truly a worthy child of mine and your mother’s DNA! Happy studying, my eldest offspring!”** The man spoke with jovial enthusiasm while throwing a random thumbs up towards nothing in particular before he turned to descend into the basement where his lab was located.

Standing still for an extra moment, a quick shudder befell the boy as he thought of his father and mother, whoever she was, doing, as his father would say it, “human procreational activities”….

“I wonder what dad came up here for?” Dib voiced as he mused back into the living room.

“To help give background into the story. DUH! Dumbass…” Gaz snorted with contempt as he passed her by.

The statement confused the boy (of legal age), but he quickly shrugged it off as unimportant as he normally did with the things his sister said. She was, after all, younger than him which obviously made him the smarter of the two; obviously.

It had been a rather unfruitful excursion out of his room and into the wilderness of his home, the noise of his sister’s video game was still blaring like a school horn, but maybe his father was right about a few things… Maybe…

Perhaps it was time for him to put the files, documents, pictures, samplings of ecto-plasmic goo (at least he hoped that's what it was), toenail clippings, negatives, years old saliva in taco meat, and journal writings away and focus on actual life for a change. He had exams coming up soon after all and he needed to pass at least one of his classes for his father and for general society to not give up on him entirely.

“I’ll get you someday.” Dib assured himself, taking a seat once again at his desk. “I’m ready for you. And the day you come back is the day I expose you to the world.”

The boy pushed back his glasses on his nose and then placed both elbows on the table before him, leaning his chin down into his palms.

“I’m ready.” The tone of his voice lowered as if to show the seriousness of his commitment. “You won't get away from me again, you hear?!”

Small beady iris' focused onto a picture of the alien on the desk beside him. He had snapped the photo at their school, many years back, while the creature sat across the room from him holding a pencil for the first time. Stupid thing had no idea how to use it and ended up stabbing himself with it less than a minute later, to Dib’s delight and entertainment.

That alien had given him a purpose in life. From that fateful day in middle school on he knew without a shadow of a doubt what his calling was; he was a paranormal investigative hero! Well more of an unsung hero... but a paranormal investigative hero nonetheless! The world was in danger and it was only people like him who alone could protect it from the evil that comes from-

“Space.” Dib finished his thought openly, a grin widening on his face is he did.

“Yes, I am ready for you. Mark my words… One day! One! Day!” The boy threw down his fists atop the keyboard for dramatic emphasis, “I will capture you!”

_ Ohh you dirty boy. _

“What the-!?”

_ Ohh please don’t hurt me… I’ll behave. I’ll do whatever you want, Master. _

“Who’s there?!” Dib yelled, looking around his room very quickly as he tried to find the source of the seductive voice that was speaking to him.

_ Ohhh handcuffs?! You’re capturing me?! You are naughty aren’t you? _

“My computer?!” He realized suddenly. It had seemed that when he had thrown his arms upon the buttons, he had accidentally clicked an internet popup ad for a…

_ Come here you naughty, naughty, boy. _

“Kids could easily get to a website like this, you sickos!” The boy spoke out in disgusted alarm as he moved his mouse to focus on the tab that the sound was being fed from.

_ That’s right. I’ve been bad. You should punish me. _

“Ohhh, I’ll punish you alright. BY REMOVING YOU OFF MY SCREEN!”

_ Oooo yeah, you’re such a big boy, Aren’t you? Look at you… Mmmm, put those handcuffs on tighter. _

Dib’s finger hovered over the left click button, poised and waiting, but... something in the boy's mind was holding him back.

Handcuffs.

Yes, that’s right. Handcuffs. He had almost captured his old foe with handcuffs on the first day they met at school. What a glorious moment that would have been if the fiend had not but barely slipped through his fingers.

“Damn garden gnomes.” He seethed.

_ Ahhhh! Ohhh yes! Tie me up! _

Dib's eyes were fixed forward, completely mesmerized by what he saw on his screen.

_ Pin me down! **Yes!** _

The boy's heart began to beat louder.

_ I’m a freak! A freaky freaky freak! And I deserve to be punished for it! _

“Ohhh, I’ll punish you.”

His body was feeling warm suddenly, his chest obviously heaving more than usual, and his lowers… Well he knew exactly what they wanted. Shutting his eyes, Dib took his mind to his normal happy place; to a meeting with the president for saving the world from alien invasion, to his all female fan club that no males (save for one or two drag queens) were a part of since all the males in the world couldn’t stand him; him being so young, attractive, smart, and heroic and all. Then to his science lab. Yes, a lab of his very own, where the alien he had captured was held for his personal observation.

“Tell me! How did you do it?!” The green, still middle school height creature asked him, confined by wrist and ankle straps to a table in the middle of the room.

“It was simple, my old adversary.” Dib retorted back snidely in his mind. “You see, I was ready for you.”

“Impossible! I was so careful! All those years of planning!”

“All those years and you learned nothing. Where as I,” Dib snickered, both in his mind and aloud in his room. “I studied everything you left behind. The bits of scrap metal from your secret underground base. Your saliva I found on a half eaten crazy taco. Your toenail clippings!”

“Toenail clippings? My kind do not have the things you call toenails.”

“Well… Whatever they were-” Dib paused, slightly mystified and disgusted by whatever those things that resembled toenail clippings that he had found were.

No matter...

“I studied them! And I learned much, oh yes, sooo much from my research. That is why you never stood a chance against me!”

“CURSE YOU, DIB!”

Maniacal laughter heaved from the boys chest to fill the room in his mind. Dib could feel his body heat rising even more. He was currently atop the moon so to speak. To have captured his arch nemesis, to have him completely powerless and grovelling before him, it was nirvana. Yes, nirvana. Of course, his hand pulsing up and down on his shaft which was now hanging loose outside the zipper of his pants helped too.

“Mmmmm yes,” He whispered with his eyes still shut.

He loved coming to this place. The trivial enticements of the world around him never turned him on quite like the place in his mind did. Many times he had stroked his member vigorously to the writhing of the alien in his head, his squirming, his hissing and spitting at him. The creature resembled a mad viper at times, but then again so did his cock. Oh yes, he had no pussy, like his sister insinuated. Silly girl. He was man. A man turned on by his own imaginary power, and the white led lights he made sure were installed in his imaginary lab (they made seeing his alien capture better than normal fluorescent bulbs).

“I will make you and all the filthy meaty humans of this world fear me again! Mark my words-”

“No!” Dib shouted back to the creature in his mind while his hand clenched tighter around his member and began to pull on it a bit slower and with more seduction. “I do not fear you. Perhaps in the past there were times when my strength was shaken but neither I nor the earth fear you now, AND WE WILL NEVER FEAR YOU AGAIN, ZIM!”

If a lightning bolt had struck outside at that moment, it would have been the perfect sound and visual effect to complete the moment in his head. Unfortunately the lab he had created had no windows so the effect would have been a moot point, but again, no matter.

“That’s right, Zim!” Dib mumbled out loud to himself just before releasing a groan in pleasure. “It’s no use, struggling.”

Dib quickened his rubbing, clenching his eyes tighter together and dropping his whole frame backwards into his desk chair, his head rolling around on the headrest in expected ecstasy.

“I…”

Even in his mind the words and images were getting harder to hold together.

“I’ve captured you.” He managed to choke out as he widened his legs just a tad. His breathing was getting louder and louder by the second; his left arm was stretched upon the armrest of his desk chair with his hand grasping upon it for dear life.

“I…”

The pleasure waves began to strum through him like electric shocks through a guy hooked up to a car battery. Or like that idiot in the tenth grade who enjoyed putting his tongue to an electric bug zapper.

“I won’t let… Ohh fuck…”

The images in his head were blurring. His member was pulsing in his hands. It was all he could do to hold on to the sight of the green alien still bound and trapped before him, angry and oh so pathetically helpless.

“I won’t let you escape me, Zim.” The words slipped out of his mouth just before he ejaculated into his palm. The white seed spilled out of him in pumps one after the other as he whispered the alien's name to himself over and over.

With heavy breaths, Dib re-opened his eyes, his eyelids feeling a bit like lead as he did. Slowly, the boy breathed back into reality, pulling himself upwards and back into a normal sitting position. Thank goodness he kept tissues in his desk drawer since it almost always made cleaning up fairly easy, and by the amount a white goo on his right hand, he needed several.

“Aww, damn it.” The boy groaned as he noticed the amount of cum he had also splattered onto his seat by accident.

_ Well that was quite a big load you just shot off huh, big boy. I hope you had as much fun as I just did. _

“What? Oh, shit! I forgot to click that off!” A bit of alarm rang in his tone.

_ Thanks for watching! A bill of Fifty Dollars will be sent to your home address within five work days time. See you again soon! _

The internet page suddenly turned black with nothing more than a small oddly shaped dancing heart emoji in the middle of the screen.

Dib’s left eye twitched.

“FUCK!”

The boy’s cry went unnoticed by the rest of the humans living in that house, but it was heard somewhere not far away. For somewhere not far away from the Membrane House was a hill. And on that hill, under the protection of a olden tree, atop a picnic blanket, laid a human couple, humping their brains out.

“Ohh yes, Gary! Spray it all over my face!”

“But I was just in your ass, Mary.”

“I don’t care! I’m already covered in acne anyways!”

“Look, Master! Gary’s a cow! Awwwww. Ain’t that sweet. He’s giving Mary all his milk, hehehehe.”

_** “Yes, Gir. It’s very interesting but that’s not what’s important right now.” ** _

”It’s not?!”

**_ “No, Gir. It’s not.” _ **

“Ohh… … … … … Can I go play with them!?”

**_ “No Gir, you can’t go play yet. There are other things that need to be done first.” _ **

“BUT I WANNA PLAY!!!”

_** “And play you will, my servant. Very soon, both of us will play.” ** _

“AHHH GARY! YOU GOT IT IN MY EYES!”

Somewhere atop a hill not far from the Membrane House, stood an alien and his robotic minion, watching two very separate and yet not so different events transpire.

“Hehehehehehehe! Gary’s doing the nut punch roll!”

_** “Gir! Take my long/short range audio and X-ray spying equipment back to the cruiser. I have seen all I need of my arch nemesis for today.” ** _

“YES, MY LORD!”

_** “Ohh, and Gir. Replace those two humans brains with chicken brains when your done.” ** _

“But why?”

_** “For nostalgia sake, Gir. It’s been so long since I've had the chance to terrorize this city. I feel a tad listless without the calming sight of meat worms breaking their teeth and noses while pecking pathetically at the ground.” ** _

Somewhere atop a hill not far from the Membrane House, stood an alien and his robotic minion cackling in maniacal laughter.

_** “It is time Gir. Time for the human race to meet their new master!” ** _

“Hmm... What about the doom!?”

_** “Yes... We will bring them some doom as well, Gir.” ** _

“Can the doom be taco flavored!?”

_** “I... suppose it can be taco flavored.” ** _

“YAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!!!”

The cloud covered night sky released an ear shattering crackle as a bolt of lightning struck down the olden tree atop the hill, unaffecting the alien and robot who stood a small ways away but killing the other two no longer mating meat worms as its power strummed mercilessly through the ground around them.

”GARY! MARY! NOOOO! I LOVED YOU!”

_** “Sorry to have kept you waiting, DIB! But I have returned. And I am so glad you are ready for me, for I am also ready for you! HEHEHEHEHEHE! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!” ** _

”I’ll eat a taco for you, Gary…”

❄. ❄. ❄. ❄. ❄. ❄. ❄. ❄. ❄. ❄. ❄.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hehehe.
> 
> Part 2 is in the works. But until then...
> 
> One Large Diet Poop!
> 
> And Cupcakes.
> 
> Follow me on my new Tumblr for updates and sneak peeks on upcoming works.  
> https://rebirthwriting.tumblr.com
> 
> -From Cyprus  
> With Love. ❄


	2. The Doom Has Almost Arrived!

**_ "It is time." _ **

In comparison to other planets across the expansive galaxy, the Earth seemed very small, primitive, and unimportant. To that end it was no wonder why it had gone absolutely unnoticed for so long by the eyes of the Irken military and its leaders. But no matter how small and insignificant its conquer may have been in the eyes of others, it was not only this alien's duty but also his desire. His first conquered world in the vast number that were to obviously follow after.

It was his mission. And it was time.

The grinding of metal gears and plates roared unrepentant in the deep recesses of the spaceships core. Electric whizzing sparked a heart beat akin to an animals but so much more ferocious. Everything worked in incomprehensible order to a common goal with one alien life form as its operator. It had taken years, yes years to perfect. But he had done it. A ship that not only could carry him through the cosmos of deep space but one that would also carry out his every wish and command.

 _ **“Gir.”**_ The alien that sat upon the ships throne of control called nonchalantly into the mic piece attached to his suit. _**“Report. Have you completed Phase One yet?”**_

“Yes, My Master! First package has been delivered!” The robot’s more serious tone returning through the ship's speakers. “Phase Two in progress. Reaching second location now. Sir!”

 _ **“Excellent.”**_ Pointy fingers thrummed together in devious anticipation. _**“I am most pleased, Gir. Report back to me once everything is in place.”**_

The pieces he had so delicately set out were fitting together perfectly. Thus far, there had been no snags to his goal and deep down in his heart deprived chest he could feel the excitement of long awaited expectation. The air he inhaled turned cold in his alien lung-like things, a soothing sensation that calmed his racing mind.

Soon…

So very soon...

“Reporting in! Sir!”

_**“Already?!” **_ The green life form spoke with honest surprise, which he quickly dismissed, _**“Tell me! Is it done?!”**_

“Affirmative! Target One has been captured.”

“HEY!” A female voice shouted, sounding a bit distant from the mic piece that the robotic minion was wearing, “You didn't capture me!”

 _ **“She isn't captured?!?!?!!!” **_ The alien grasped upon the handles of his Chair of Ultimate Control, nearly standing in sudden fear as he listened to the words being relayed back to him.

“Affirmative. She is claiming to 'come willingly.' Another way of saying she has been captured, SIR!”

“Stop talking to your _stupid_ master. What are we waiting for anyways?” The sneering female voice continued, sounding rather impatient.

“Target One is trying to converse with her captor. Shall I converse?”

_** “No, Gir! Tell Target One that she is to hold her tongue!” ** _

There was a small pause of silence between the master and his servent.

**_ “Is she holding it, Gir?” _ **

“Yes, Sir! The human female's hand is currently constricting the muscle in her mouth known as ‘the tongue’.”

**_“Gooood.”_** Zim relaxed back into his throne, a sigh of evil relief escaping him as he did. **_“And everything else? Is it in place?”_**

“Affirmative!”

**_“Well done, Gir!”_**  Large round eyes narrowed as a smile bigger than any he had allowed in recent years spread with sinister intent upon the alien’s green face. _**“Return to the ship with the meat capture, my servant. Your job is complete.”**_

 **“YAY!”** The lighthearted tone that the robot normally carried returned with no warning of transition, nearly deafening the alien as its pitch blasted through the speakers.  “Does that mean I can go play now?!”

**_ “Yes, Gir... You may go play.” _ **

“Master says we can play together now!!!” Gir’s happy voice continued. “I’m gonna play with you for hours, and hours, and hours, and hours, and hours, and-”

“Shut up already! Let’s just go!” The girl’s voice snorted before apparently kicking the lightweight metal robot to the ground with a clank, or at least that’s what it sounded like to the alien still listening to the conversation. The action seemingly had no real effect though on the minion as he continued his gleeful monologue.

“-and hours, and hours, and hours, and hours, and hours, and hours…-”

Zim shook his head as he pressed the button that ended the link between him and his servent, a sigh escaping his lips as he did. Grasping upon the arm rests of his chair, he relished in the tightening of his muscles. The strain and tension bringing about a sense of control just as in his gut he was beginning to feel the tiniest twinge of fear creep through him.

It had been a long road to this moment. He had taken all precautions, thought of every possible scenario where things might go wrong and improved his tactics to work around them. Now thrumming the controls on his seat lightly with the tips of his fingers, an impatience groaned in the aliens would-be soul. He stood, strong legs guiding him forward from his seat, long coat tails flailing behind him. He stopped to stand upon a platform that allowed him to behold the outside surroundings.

How dark it all was. How bleak. And how he loved it.

Space carried such emptiness with it. An emptiness unassumingly filled by life forms like him, traveling the cosmos to enslave or destroy everything they would come across. And here, right before him, was Zim The Conqueror's first soon to be conquest, Earth.

So much he had studied and learned to make this day a reality. All the chemical formulas he had crafted. All the tests he had run. Sooo many tests... He had even abandoned his ridiculously complex and yet somehow ineffective weapons and petty destruction schemes all these long years for something far greater.

Total domination.

It was time. Every piece was in place and there was only one move left before total victory was his.

Gazing wistfully out into space at a planet now doomed, Zim felt a yearning deep inside.

_** “Come to me, Dib. I am waiting.” ** _

 

❄. ❄. ❄. ❄. ❄. ❄. ❄. ❄. ❄. ❄. ❄.

 

“I’m home.” Dib called out somewhat defeatedly as he walked in the front door to his living quarters.

The boy took a couple steps forward, closing the door behind him with a lethargic push as his body failed to give him the strength or desire to push it closed any harder. Another day at college over and done. How dull. How boring and repetitious, and of course today's longest class was astronomy. Like that idiot on the podium knew anything about space.

“Black holes my ass…” He had sneered under his breath as the entire class except for him began flipping their book pages to read about this “spectacular phenomenon.”

“I’ve been in a wormhole before, you know.” Dib told the classmate nearest to him, even though that classmate had moved all the way to the very very VERY end of the table to keep away from him. The only reply he got from her was a disgusted snarl and a rolling of her eyes.

“Gaz?” Dib voiced aloud in his home again as he suddenly realized half way into the living room that his sister was not where she normally was sitting in front of the tv screen and had not yelled “SHUT UP, LOSER!” as she normally would in response to his previous proclamation of arrival.

“That’s weird...”

One more quick glance around the room. Nothing seemed wrong, but It wasn’t like his sister to leave the house for anything other than school. Unless of course it was pizza night… Or unless it was the day a new version of Vampire Piggy Hunter was being released… Or unless Iggins was harassing her again… Or unless she just felt like going out of her way to undermine Dibs attempts at saving the world or finding that alien…

“Why does she hate my saving the world so much?” Dib questioned openly since there was no one around to judge him. Him being apparently alone in the house.

 **“She’s just showing how much she loves you, son. And besides, she’s doing the world good sitting there playing her games! She will make a wonderful hacker someday, or a TV physiatrist! All that time killing fake enemies to help alleviate the stress of her deep seated hatred for the human race! Ahh... It warms my heart.”** He remembered his father telling him one night when he had approached the man about why his sister was always either trying to get him arrested while out alien searching or just sitting in front of her video games.

“Yeah… of course dad.” Dib mumbled to himself begrudgingly as he recalled that moment in his head.

Moving towards the kitchen, the boy (of normal nineteen year old height and head size) walked with determination. So what if he was alone in the house? That just meant he could study his true passions with no interruptions this time! There was a sudden spring in his step now at the idea of being completely alone. A time for secretly awesome, handsome Dib to be openly secretly awesome and handsome. It was a good idea!

Once in the kitchen, Dib poured himself a glass of orange juice (only 15% juice, 95% salt water) and contentedly began to exit towards the stairwell.

“Ohh I think there’s still some meatloaf left in the fridge from last week!” The boy remembered lightheartedly just as he was about to exit the room.

Turning around on his heels, the boy set his glass down on the table, which in turn caused him to notice that there was a _mysterious_ package sitting on the kitchen table’s center.

“What’s this?” He continued to speak out loud as he looked at the _mysterious_  package with curiosity. The box wasn’t overly large and didn’t look to be very heavy. Peering at it’s top though, Dib noticed a note attached to it.

 

**To: DIB!**

**From: The Swollen Balls**  
**(That also have eye thingys)**

 

“The Swollen Eyeballs! They’ve finally forgiven me for blowing their cover at the comic book convention two years ago!”

Meatloaf would have to wait. Ripping the paper covering the outside of the box into shreds, Dib wasted no time opening the contents of the _mysterious_ package that had _mysteriously_ made it inside his house and onto his kitchen table. The boy groaned as he struggled to rip the tape from its flaps, finally doing so though with a resounding “pop” as the tape snapped violently apart.

Giddy eyes looked inside of the cardboard container. There was a piece of paper and some sort of large, flat, round metal object in the box. Taking both out one and a time, Dib read to himself what was on the paper.

“Hello, Dib. Here is a new alien detection device for your work.”

The boy’s eyes and mouth widened in glee.

“First, make sure you are alone.”

For some strange reason Dib looked around the room a second before remembering that he had already confirmed earlier the fact that he was indeed alone.

“Second, set the flat round metal _NOT ALIEN_ device down on the floor and stand on it.”

He quickly complied, setting down the paper for a moment to grab the round metal object and place it on the kitchen floor before stepping feet together upon it.

“Okay… what now?” Dib asked himself as he picked back up the instruction sheet and noticed that there were no more steps to follow.

** Scan in progress. Confirming creature known as “Dib”. **

“Woah! What?” The boy spoke in panic as he heard a deep male robotic voice speak and noticed the metal object underneath him suddenly begin to glow a neon blue.

** Dib creature confirmed! Beginning capture sequence! **

The boy had no time to react. As soon as the voice ended, the outer ring of the platform split from the contraption and rose up just about a foot or two above Dib’s head, encasing the boy with some sort of force field that linked itself to the the metal thing he was standing on.

“What the?! Hey!!!”

The boy tried to think rationally for a moment. One quick thought popped into his head as he glanced upwards and noticed that the top of the now cylindrical thing wasn't shut yet. _Maybe I can jump out of this!_ Dib reasoned, although he knew the idea was a bit foolish, after all no one, including himself, thought of him as athletic, but maybe in a desperate situation? PING. Something made a noise no more than a second after he had thought out his plan. The upper ring of the contraption spun to life as a force field shut off the top of the tube, locking the boy completely away from the outside kitchen area... place where he had just been standing.

_Shit…!_

Panic rose from deep inside Dib’s chest. Breaths turned quick and heavy as a few silent second gave him the chance to really understand what had just happened. This was his kitchen, his home... his orange juice was just an arms length away, and he hadn’t even gotten the chance to take one sip from it, though that was probably for the best since he had forgotten to check the expiration date before pouring it. And this...

Was a trap.

Slits opened in the bottom of the metal platform and a sudden feeling of weightlessness encompassed the boy. His body lifted slightly up into the air, just enough so that his feet could no longer touch the platform. With the extra lift though, he pushed as hard as he could against the top of the barely visible container, he even kicked his feet for extra momentum, which amounted to nothing at all against the weightlessness of the prison he was now in.

A small engine began its hum below him and Dib felt his heart skip a couple beats. It was the sound of a fan and something sweet smelling was beginning to waft up and around him..

_No! Push, damnit!_

Dib willed himself to force every ounce of energy he had into slamming his fists and feet into the semi-translucent wall around him. Nothing. Nothing happened. The force field just repelled him back with every attempt.

_Don’t breathe it in! Don’t-_

The boy couldn’t stop himself. The air was thickening around him with whatever this sweet smelling gas was, and now he needed to inhale. One quick breath was all it took as his entire body began to feel limp and his eyes gloss over in darkness.

 **Capture process complete. Beginning transportation sequence!** Was the only thing Dib heard in the encompassing void. From deep within his subconscious, two words started slipping from his mouth as his mind finally went blank.

“You je…”

 

❄. ❄. ❄. ❄. ❄. ❄. ❄. ❄. ❄. ❄. ❄.

 

**_ “Computer...” _ **

A small high pitch chime let the alien know that the computer was now at attention.

**_ “Give me a status report on the Dib.” _ **

“Sir. Human is still unconscious. Vitals are normal. No new activity to report.”

Zim paced in a circle around the Command Deck. He wasn't nervous this time, perhaps just impatient. He had decided long ago what he would do if the day finally came that he had captured his arch nemesis, but he needed the creature to be awake for the next part of his plan. Dib after all, was not one to be turned easily. Zim had even considered for a while of splicing him with Irken DNA to force the boy into submission, but he quickly came to grips with how shallow a victory like that would have been. No, he had to make this human meat filth his slave by his own choice. Make him surrender to his wills and desires by showing him the essence of this cruel reality and by bestowing upon him a gift beyond any normal human understanding.

 ** _“Hmph.” _** Zim scoffed out of boredom. **_“Bring up the video display from that room!”_**

Within milliseconds, the large screen in the Command Deck fuzzed to life and began projecting a view from the right hand corner of a large bedroom somewhere on the ship.

**_ “Zoom in.” _ **

The camera pulled in on a small object in the room’s center. A table of sorts, perfectly sized for the creature that was lying on top of it.

Dib, naked and restrained by high tech force field ankle and wrist cuffs. There was no escape for the human creature when he woke up. None at all, unless Zim commanded it. The aliens fist clenched as he gazed at the screen. His plan. It had better work. The great Zim would not be denied. Especially not from this child. This human… that caused him so much pain during and even after school. Ohh, the torment he had been put through by this boy.

 ** _“How long must you make me wait, Dib?”_** There was a heat ragging in his cheeks as he gazed at the bare skinned boy, watched him breath, watched his body twitch ever so barely from time to time.

 ** _“Computer! What of the other Membrane… cow people?!”_** Zim turned his face momentarily away from the display, waving his fingers in disgust as he spoke the last couple words.

“The Membrane Scientist has received your package, Sir. He is currently using the item as expected.”

**_ “Excellent… Bring up the video feed!” _ **

The screen went fuzzy for a brief moment before another feed was linked in. This camera seemed to be showing him something from Earth. An office of sorts, filled with books, papers, beakers, some weird metal mechanical thingys, an open cardboard box upon a desk, and in the far corner of the room, a bed where Professor Membrane was current having sex with…

**“Ohhh, Moofy!”**

The alien held quiet for a moment as he observed the screen and listened to the random outbursts from the Professor.

**“I think you turned me into a diamond! Because you just gave me a hardness of 10!”**

It was just as Zim had predicted. The father Membrane had fallen for it, or better to say, her. The girl of his dreams. Moofy. And now there they were, locked in sexual passion. Her, lying there taking it like an eight year fast food attendant and him, humping away on her like a small rat dog in heat.

**“Are you secretly a scientist too?! Because I Lab You!”**

“Ummm, Moofy... Sir?”

**_“Yes! Am I not ingenious?!” _** The green alien’s spirit and voice rose like a flying Dorthalmok as he watched the screen intently, drinking in the fruits of his labor with enjoyment. **_“The greatest scientist on that retched planet reduced to this.”_**

The deep grunts the professor loosed as he struck her. The way his mouth lapped at the side of her neck, playfully kissing around her collar bone. Very steady hands from holding delicate lab instruments for so many years tenderly fondling her hips, squeezing the soft skin that was the beginning of her butt. The professor seemed strangely adept to this sort of thing from what Zim could see on the monitor.

“Ummm… You can’t put Moofy in this story, Sir! In the series she’s just a child and not of consenting adult age!”

**_“Silence, computer! You think that I did not think to think of thinking of that?!”_** Zim huffed in his normal tone of long prevailed arrogance.

“Ummm?”

**_ “The MOOFY the Membrane is currently copulating with is a robotic sex doll I created to look like an adult version of Moofy.” _ **

“So then... that’s not really Moofy? Sir?”

**_ “Precisely. You see, for my plan to work, I needed all creatures possibly smart enough to figure out my plan out of my way. So after long hours of studying what creature on the Earth would be sexy enough to tempt the Membrane professor, I realized the easiest would be an eccentric but dumb, dirty blonde, screaming bimbo. And Moofy’s character fit the description perfectly. WAS THAT NOT BRILIANT OF ME?!?!?!” _ **

**“Mmmmm, Moofy!! I’ll be a photon to your electron and take you to an excited state!”**

The grunting turned louder as a notable sign to how close to orgasm the professor was at the moment. His head turned heaven-wards, his tall mohawk hair-do thingy emitting a strange glow almost as though it was conducting a weird type of electricity. The room’s lights flickered as Professor Membrane sang out an **“INCREDIBLE!!!”** quickly followed up with **“Such amazing static friction you and I have together!!!”**

“But what about after he’s done having sex with her, Sir? Won't he just go back to being a threat to the mission?”

**_ “That was a thought that crossed my mind, so I programed the robot to have sex with him until he passes out from exhaustion.” _ **

“But Sir! That could possibly kill him!”

**_“Don’t worry, I also programed her mouth for multiple sucking and breathing functions. The Moofy can easily resuscitate him if it is necessary.”_** There was a pause as the computer audibly sighed and Zim continued looking at the screen to make sure all functions of his female sex robot were working properly.

 ** _“Excellent Moofy.”_** The alien sung to himself in a low tone as the two mating things continued mating. **_“You have done your master proud. Only a fool would doubt the greatness of something crafted by the All Powerful Zim... You are truly a remarkable piece of robotics.”_**

**“Is your real name Mercury Fulminate?!?!?! Because I’m about to make you EXPLODE!!!”***

_**“Speaking of robots.”**_ Zim continued, unfazed by the continuing lame jokes the man was making and suddenly reminded of his minion. **_“What is Gir up to? I’m surprised he’s not around trying to touch things I tell him not to…”_**

“He is still playing with his new toy, Sir.”

**_“Still?!”_** His tone slipped out with honest surprise at the news. **_“He’s been ‘playing’ for hours now. The video feed! Display it for me!”_**

Even though in the thralls of joy from his so far uncontested operation, Zim was not quite ready for what he saw on the video screen. Gir was indeed playing… in a very jovial manner in fact. Laughing, dancing, screaming and rolling around just like he normally did, but his head was linked into a expansion port of sorts. There were at least a dozen robotic wires or coils hooked up to him, each one squirming and wiggingly around by his command. And his command was simple… Play with the new toy.

“How long are you going to keep fucking me for?!”

Gaz was being held in mid air by four of the coils wrapped around her extremities and also by the lack of gravity Gir liked to have in his room. Floating weightless and mostly naked (she still had on her stockings and shoes), she laid out prostate. Her bare bosom heaving, rolling upwards then falling as a couple of other coils continued to penetrate and pleasure her lowers.

“You need to pet the piggy!!!” Gir returned undeterred as he floated himself up nearer to the girl, stuffed piggy in hand.

“I can’t, you dumb scrap of metal!” She scoffed back with a hushed moan afterwards. “My arms are pinned! Fuck... Ahhhhh...”

Gir appeared unfazed as he watched the purple headed girl attempt to twist away from the onslaught of her holes being ravaged. A small coil pumped in and out of the the girls anus, occasionally leaving to impress itself against her entire butt crack, sliding down its now slick curved path before stabbing back up into the female’s puckering hole. Another metal wire pumped in and out of Gaz's womanhood, filling it to the brim. Its large unyielding size scrapping the edges of pain for the girl as it took her. But even with all the sensation in her lowers, Gaz continued to hold her normal stone cold expression.

“Ohhhhh!!! What's this do?!?!” Gir screamed out in excitement as he suddenly floated over her breasts.

Grabbing hold of one of her large melons with his claw like hand, the girl cried out in deep pleasurable terror, an animal like growl escaping her throat afterwards as the machine continued to squeeze.

“Stop doing that.” She commanded, not that she thought commands meant anything to the piece of junk.

“Ohhhhh!!! What's this do?!?!” The robot screamed again as he looked over and saw the other identical squishy melon thing on the other side of the girls chest.

“Don’t you da-!” Gaz began but was silenced when a stuffed piggy was sudden shoved into her mouth to give the robot freedom of using both claws simultaneously to play with his new friend.

Gir pulled himself down to wrap his small legs around the girls waist. His big eyes locked in mesmerized ecstasy as he began to not only squeeze but also pinch at the nipple of one of the squishy melons, the girls body reacting with a violent twitch and a heavy muffled moan from her mouth. Fighting against the machine currently straddling her, the female twisted and bucked her hips as the robot tightened himself around her all the more.

“I'm riding you like a donkey!” The robot exclaimed randomly.

“Pehhh!!” Gaz voiced in disgust as she spat the plushy violently from her mouth. “What crazy programming did Zim put in you, you stupid thing?!”

“PIGGY!!!” The robot screeched in horror as he watched the object float away from him and towards the other side of the room.

Without thought, Gir released his legs from the capture, and pushing off the girl like a spring board, lept towards the plushy he was so very fond of, engaging the thrusters in his feet to steer him in the right direction. Only problem was that as he lept, the coils connected to him were jerked as well, and those coils were also currently penetrating the purple hair girl who was forced to feel the writhing it ensued. As the robot darted from left to right, up and down, so to did the wires inside her, squirming around her insides like giant metal jelly worms.

“Aghhh!!! Fuck!!!” The girl cried out in the first real loss of control she had shown all day.

“Hmmmm…” Pensive thought overtook the robot as he abruptly stopped just before reaching his plushy objective, strangely not interested in its retrieval anymore. His bored body instead floated without desire, sans the random glitchy twitch or two, until he finally had turned enough to catch sight of the girl behind him who was still flailing with the waves his erratic movements were making.

“I’m gonna make me a taco!!!” Gir proclaimed, doing a somersault in his returned happiness and then rocketing his way back over to purple headed girl, once again wrapping his feet around her first before practically smashing his over-sized head in between her large, rolling, squishy melons.

“You little shit!” Gaz was able to sneer in between her body’s heaving and general breathlessness.

“They feel like mush pillows.” A jovial snicker came afterwards.

Zim remained slightly open mouthed as he watched the scene unfold on the large screen before him. He had no words… Really. He had none.

“Sir?”

**_ “Turn off the display, computer.” _ **

By the time the alien had blinked the screen had gone black. Thank the Almighty Tallest…

“Sir?”

**_“Okay…”_** Zim started to say, still staring forward, completely dumbfounded by what he had just watched. **_“That was weird… and what was he doing to her with that seventh coil?!”_**

“Uhhh, seventh?”

**_ “Yeah… It was like… sucking on her bum, or something…” _ **

“I have no idea..., Si-”

The computer ceased talking suddenly as a beeping noise began going off on one of the control panels, catching Zim’s attention as well.

 ** _“What is it?!”_** Zim questioned quickly, not bothering to go check the panel himself even though it wasn’t that far away from him. That’s what having a talking computer was for anyways.

“The Dib human. Readings are showing that he is waking up, Sir.”

**_ "Finally..." _ **

If a black hole could have erupted in space at that moment, it would have been the perfect background effect for the wide smile and dark laughter spilling from the aliens throat. Unfortunately the closest black hole eruption was millions upon millions of miles away so the effect would have been a moot point, but no matter.

Zim wasted little time relishing in the idea of his nemesis awakening. He needed to see it with his own sinister alien eyes. He needed to be there as the boy woke up. Be there to great him into this new world. HIS world.

The sound of purposeful steps echoed down the corridor as the alien left the Command Deck and proceeded towards a lift nearby. Just one level up and all the way down the hall. Thats where he had left the Dib monkey so peacefully unconscious. Every step the alien took felt weighted as he moved. Every step he took brought him closer to his next objective.

 ** _“It’s my turn to play now, Dib. Ready or not.”_** Zim spoke to himself in between small malicious chuckles as he rode the lift to the next floor. **_“Here I come.”_**

 

❄. ❄. ❄. ❄. ❄. ❄. ❄. ❄. ❄. ❄. ❄.

 

(This next segment has nothing to do with the storyline. In fact it's only here because I was getting tired while writing one day and felt bad about having to split this chapter in half with no explanation. So enjoy if you would like or just skip to the bottom notes for the TLDR version. XD)

 

Somewhere in a bedroom with trinkets and junk covering the desk, anime wall scrolls and prints covering the walls, figurines and general nerdiness scattering the shelves, sat a human kind of girl… creature trying to escape the summer heat as she leaned back in her desk chair, typing away almost every word that popped into her slowly processing mind.

“Just need to think of a better word for ‘slivered’…”

**_ “HUMAN!!!” _ **

“Wahhhh!!!” The somewhat a girl cried out in an rather un-girlish tone; her bedroom door having not been violently flung open as she thought someone would have done to come yell at her as such. Nonetheless she was no longer alone in the room, as Zim, as in the one from Invader Zim (you know… the one from this story that I'm writing and I think your right now reading...maybe?), was presently standing just a few paces behind her, tall and angry, arms crossed and a scowl blatantly present on his alien face.

**_ “Explain yourself! Now!!!” _ **

The human turned her body to look behind her, straining her neck around the top of the chair as she did.

“What?!”

 ** _“Tell me human.”_** The alien, Zim, took a step forward as he spoke. **_“Why is it that this story that you have been writing, in which I am the main star, SUDDENLY has turned from having TWO chapters TO THREE?!?!”_**

Silence overtook the room.

“Ummm…”

**_ “Do you realize that your doing so has once again prolonged my long awaited domination of the Earth AND the Dib creature?!?!” _ **

“Yeah…” The tone the girl took this time was even deeper and sadder as she cowered down slightly in her chair.

**_ “Explanation! Give me explanation!!!” _ **

“Well…” The girl continued her low speaking voice as she thought about how to phrase her next sentence. “If I had kept the story having only two parts as it was before, the second chapter would have easily ended up being **five or six times longer** than the first one!”

**_ “Pathetic Child of Taco Crisps! How dare you push me to the side once more!? I allowed you time to work on your OTHER boy love projects but this has gone on for too long! An elite of the Irken military will not be treated as such!” _ **

“I’m sorry! I’m working on your story! It’s the only one I’m working on right now! Promise!” She implored, turning her chair fully around so she could face the alien head on.

**_ “Insolence! Your groveling will not so easily persuade someone of my abilities! You even did this same thing with one of your other little male worm attracting another male worm to have intercourse stories!** Where is your sense of duty?!” _ **

“Hehehe.” The girl chuckled to herself, a childish smile creeping across her face. “You said duty.”

 ** _“Ughh…”_** The alien shook his head in a sense of defeat. **_“Cease your pathetic laughter. How long do you intend to make me and your public wait?!”_**

“I know, okay! I'm just trying to make your sexual domination of Dib to be more of the main focus. That’s why I think it will work better if you two had your own chapter.”

The alien’s chin lifted as though in pensive thought.

**_ “So what you're saying is that the last chapter will be all of just the Dib and I?” _ **

“At least until the finale. Yeah.”

Large sinister eyes narrowed-

“NARROWED!”

**_ “What?!?!” _ **

“That was the word I was trying to think of earlier! You know, the better word for ‘slivered’?”

Zim stood momentarily shocked by the girls outburst but after an awkward moment of silence, simply shook his head, utterly and undeniably unimpressed by the female’s sudden excitement in remembering such a commonly known word.

“So I’m not the greatest writer. Bite me!”

**_ “Ewww. Why would I do such a disgusting thing?” _ **

“You wouldn’t disapprove to bitting Dib if I wrote it into the story...”

There was a bit of mumbling under breath from the alien as he continued scowling at the girl.

**_ “Very well, worthless female-ish outcast.” _ **

“Hey!” The girl protested at the remark. “I didn’t ask to be one of the weird ones with the video game obsession and the love of macabre comedy.”

**_ “And with the constant, mundane, and totally un-original desire to ship any two hot boys you see in a show? Especially of they are enemies...” _ **

“Right.” She agreed with a nod of her head. “Wait. Hey! What do you mean by that?”

 ** _“Concluding our conversation, you may continue on with your work. However!” _** Zim interrupted before the female had time to slowly think of a real counter argument. **_“I expect this last chapter to be your MAGNUM OPUS. If it is not, I will fill your insides will the smoldering remains of a Jefungor!”_**

“...You know Latin?”

**_ “I don't know. You’re the one writing this stupid thing.” _ **

“Okay, okay. I'll make it good, I promise!”

**_ “And also!” _ **

The girl halted with a snort just as she had fully turned back around to her desk and keyboard.

**_ “I expect that you will treat me better from here on. Do try to better show the world how perfectly sexy and evil I am, won’t you?” _ **

A lump lodged in the girls throat as she felt the breath from the alien on the very top of her head. Playfully sinister fingers curled around the head rest of her chair, the presence of his tall, smooth, well formed body sending a chill of submission down her spine. His exhales smelled musky, or perhaps it was his skin that she was catching the scent from, drips of alien perspiration leaking off of him on this ungodly hot summer day. It was both calming and terrifying as her mind raced to put some connection to the scent she couldn't help but want to smell over and over again. Poison perhaps... For how inciting it was, it had better be poison.

Deep, hypnotizing, rose colored eyes, as fiery and bright as magma, reflected in the black sleeping screen of her laptop computer, the light of it reflecting downwards and tinting the glass desk in front of the girl ever so slightly a vile red. Along with his smile; passionate, angry, and lustful. There should have been a sound attached to that smile. A scream. A laugh. A sigh. Anything. And the lack of one made it all the more foreboding.

If hell had created a green skinned child.

“I’ll do my best...”

 ** _“Hehehehehehe.”_** The deep chuckle finally came. **_“Yes… I believe you will.”_**

With those words said, the alien voice and presence vanished without a trace, leaving the girl to question for a moment whether or not he had really even been there at all.

“Well... “ She shrugged, lifting her gaze back to her laptop screen and setting her fingers once again upon the keyboard. “I wonder if there’s a better word for ‘Macabre’...”

 

❄. ❄. ❄. ❄. ❄. ❄. ❄. ❄. ❄. ❄. ❄.

 

* I came up with that joke all on my own ^_^ I was very proud of myself.

** It’s true… https://archiveofourown.org/works/6908887/chapters/15759778

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TLDR: This story was only supposed to have two parts originally. It has three now. I'm sorry, Zim... Total domination of the Dib creature will be yours soon, I promise!
> 
> I told you things were going to get a bit weirder... And apparently more colorful!
> 
> PART 2 DONE! Part 3 is in the works!
> 
> I think Dib and I both are definitely gonna need some Taquitos to get through this next one... yes... long, meaty, juicy alien Taquitos... In his mou-
> 
> *coughs*
> 
> And remember kids. Always check the expiration date of Salt Water Orange Juice before drinking it. 
> 
> Damn you Count Cocofang for ruining my love of chocolate ball cereal!
> 
> -From Cyprus  
> With Love. ❄
> 
>  
> 
> 300 Hits! Thank you so much for reading this story. I'm still a brand new writer so to see so many people taking time to view my work is greatly inspiring to me ^_^.
> 
> Follow me on my new Tumblr for updates and sneak peeks on upcoming works.  
> https://rebirthwriting.tumblr.com


	3. Doom is like diet milk; it always leaves you thirsty for more. Part 1.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: This chapter is long and serious. Just like Zim's alien dick! Hehehe. 
> 
> ... ... ... I need a life. 
> 
> -From Cyprus  
> With Love. ❄

Dib when he awoke in his bed every morning would remember foggily the strange things he dreamed at night. To make up for the lack of definitive imagery his mind gave him when asleep, the boy let his mind wander in the daytime; dreams of fame, recognition, being awarded the Less Of A Idiotic Fool Than Anyone Else In World Award, and adoration for being such a great paranormal investigator flooded him constantly. He wouldn’t deny though that from time to time it bothered him that those wonderful daytime thoughts were never carried into the deep only slightly disturbed sleep that constantly consumed his moon protected hours. On rare occasion he would recall at breakfast the weird dreams filled with misshapen pig creatures dancing merrily in a forest or the long spiraling walkways that he would walk descending down into a bluish green bubbling vat of sweet rice and pork pudding. His dreams normally contained a lot of pork in it, but that he blamed to having a sleeping sister in her room down the hall who could be heard yelling at random intervals during the night as she herself dreamed “I’ll get you for that piggy! I’ll boil your insides, filet your brain and snack on you for breakfast!”.

This time though the boy noticed that he had not dreamed anything as he let his consciousness flutter back to reality or to what he hoped was reality, it was hard to say at the moment. Dib felt oddly calm lying as he was and he wished he could continue his dreamless sleep a bit longer. Away from his cracked and obsessive sister and his fervently genius father. What a warm feeling his home and bed was to him today, Dib thought as his body lulled in the slow process of awakening.

But obviously he wasn't yet aware that he wasn't at home at all or that there was a devilish presence near him that he could not yet sense.

**_"Wakey-wakey."_ **

Zim stood quietly off to the side away from notice as the Dib creature stirred, the boy hardly making any noise to announce his waking, just some deep breaths and weak fluttering of the eyelids accompanied by the flexing of his hand to which he quickly return balled once more. It took a couple minutes, maybe even five or ten, for him to really start coming to. The drug the human had been asphyxiated with was powerful and Zim had no doubt it would take a bit to shrug off its effect.

“What…?” The word came out of the waking boy hushed and slippery.

Dib now groaned a tad, feeling a slight bit off.

“Where…?” Came the next generic question also wispy and low.

Strength obviously did not come back to the boy instantly but small blips of broken memory brought a strange feeling of discontentment rising up in his chest.

There was something… Yes, something… wrong? Yeah, that sounded right. There was something wrong.

Dib blinked his eyes to help remove the film that clouded them. He could feel his lashes sticking to each other as though he had been asleep for decades.

Gaz? No. Not Gaz.

The boy now smacked his lips audibly, the dryness of his mouth becoming the first physical anomaly he noticed about himself.

Need to go to the kitchen and grab some water.

Kitchen. Orange juice. Box.

Shiny metal platform that glowed and talked and captured him and made him weightless and suffocated him with knockout gas.

Right.

“Zim!” Every part of Dib’s body flared at once, his eyes, his mind, his limbs suddenly thrashing like the captured animal he was quickly realizing he was. His biceps and wrists were locked down, as were his ankles from what little he could feel. The restraints were most likely invisible and keeping him down by the otherworldly power of force fields, just like the one he had fought against before he blacked out. Full panicked consciousness returned, Dib threw his head from left to right, heaved his body, and craned his neck to view the situation he was in even though his gaze only fell upon the high ceiling that arched mockingly over him and the slimy purple walls that was this prison. 

“Nnngh!” The boy cried as he pushed his weight as upwards as he could manage, hoping his panic would give him the strength to out-do his prison.

_**“I’m afraid it’s no use, Dib.” **_ The malicious words sprung up from behind the boy a bit, the sudden voice startling the human and additionally terrifying him. _****“Those shackles are my own creation and certainly unbreakable by any human hands.” **** _

Dib knew that voice.

“Zim!” Dib screamed out again though this time with certainty while keeping his anger and adrenaline pumping with continued writhing against the restraints. “You creep! Show yourself!”

The demand was not met and it boiled Dib’s blood all the more. He strained his head as far about as he could to try and pinpoint exactly where the voice had come from, but even with that all he could tell was that the alien was a good distance behind and to the left of him. Damn coward...! Amidst the pulling and struggling the boy noted upon something strange, his body felt oddly cool and sticky there on the... table (hopefully a table), and Dib let the idea run through him that he might be naked although he couldn't quite see all the way down to his feet to check. What purpose Zim would have to strip him though was beyond him and the thought though slightly discomforting was a brief one.

“Let me go!” the boy cried out after a while as exhaustion began to set into his muscles and lungs.

_** “I think not yet, Dib. You need to settle down a bit more first.” ** _

“Settle down?!” He scrunched his face in disbelief. “You coward! What’s your plan, huh? Keep me locked here while you blast the earth to pieces?”

_**“Hmmm.”**_ A tone of warm consideration came out with the hum. _**“A pleasant idea indeed but I’m afraid you will have to think a bit grander than that if you wish to guess my diabolical and ingenious plan this time, my dearest adversary.”**_

Dib noticed at this point that the voice behind him sounded deeper than he remembered. A bit less raspy too. And definitely slower, as if he was purposefully adding extra emphasis on his words.

“I knew it...” Dib slowed his struggle for a brief moment to take a few seriously needed breaths. “I knew you’d come back!”

_**“Yes.”**_ The voice this time was serpent-like and smooth. _**“I never doubted you would wait for me.”**_

A small lump formed in Dib’s throat as he heard those things said. Wistfully, longingly, expectantly, desirously, that was how those words sounded and they captured the boy’s mind and tongue, locking it down with benign confusion, a quite bothersome state of being to the boy who was still very fired up and desperate in his want to yell at the figure he knew was arrogantly standing somewhere back there.

_**“You shouldn’t waste your energy on the restraints, Dib.”**_ The voice spoke again after a long moment of silence between the two, outside of the continuous albeit now weaker grunts of Dib’s labored efforts of escape. _**“You can’t leave, unless I wish it.”**_

“You won’t get away with this!” The boy’s tenacity returned. “I stopped all your stupid plans before, and I’ll stop you again!”

A dark chuckle suddenly broke out and echoed around the room.

Dib’s righteous resolve shuttered as he listened to the laughter behind him. The boy would obviously not deny that for a long time he had imagined the words he would say to the alien on the day of his return, he had even acted it out a few times in his room in front of the mirror. How he would push his glasses up on his nose, stare down at the small middle school height creature (just as he had in chapter one), bright eyed and with a wide smile spread across his face, and pronounce in a glorified tone how futile any of his plans were (also just like in chapter one). Then he would tell him how he had spent every waking moment plotting and planning what to do (did I mention I already went over this in chapter one?) when the green skinned alien once more came to threaten earth's safety. A pointy finger outstretched and damning to the small alien before him would signify his victory conjoined with his own laugh; proud and righteous.

But now…

The cackling behind him grew stronger. Deeper. Less throated and dripping in evil. The earlier knot in Dib’s throat grew large and tightened near his adams apple, a cold chill streaming from his chest all the way down to his toes. It was starting to make him feel sick.

A sudden clicking sound nearly caused the boy to jump out of his skin, the laughing invoking all his nerves to stand on end like the fur on his neighbors fat mangy cat whenever a skunk was near, and that was surprisingly often... But a simple moment after, and thanks to a large twitch from Dib’s left arm, he realized the restraints holding him down were inexplicably gone. Dib didn’t think twice. With the feeling of fear and relief from unexpected freedom, the boy rolled himself off the table away from the direction of where he thought the creature was standing. His knees smacked down hard on the tile in his swift escape causing Dib to cry out a bit, but with a few deep yet quick inhales the boy scrambled together his wits. Where was he? The flooring he touched was cold and by this (and by looking down at himself) the boy quickly realized that he was, as he had previously suspected, oddly stark naked. Weird... Dib paid little mind to this discovery though as he scurried to regain his feet, nonetheless keeping his knees bent just enough to hide his manhood beneath the level of the table he had been lying on.

“What are you trying to pull, Zi-!” The name caught short on the boys tongue as he turned his gaze towards the alien voice.

Two pairs of eyes locked, staring at each other in totally silence. Dib could’ve pissed himself.

“Z-... Zim?”

The alien never faltered with his wide smile, never cracking even in the slightest twitch. It was a smile Dib remembered all too well. All too familiar... That face, those inhuman rich rose colored eyes. But the rest of him…

_**“You’ve grown quite a bit, Dib.”**_ The alien remarked without qualm, as though he was simply talking to an old friend. _**“Six human years does age your species quite a bit it seems. Although I am curious, did you enjoy my absence?”**_

“You… You’re…” Words leaked out of the boy as a broken mess. The alien strode forward, his boots clicking against the flooring, announcing every bone chilling step. Tongue tied Dib gazed up and down at a fully dressed green alien in a tight pink long sleeve scaled top (with flowing trench!) who was also gazing up and down at him, at least from the waist up, an action which was nonetheless making him very self conscious.

Of course weird situations were more than likely commonplace when dealing with aliens. Zim in his alien lunacy had unintentionally invited Dib to take part in many crazy exploits, some thrilling and some that were completely traumatizing. That time with the moose… Ultra Pee Pee… But this current situation was so far immeasurable as how crazy and awkward it was very quickly turning. Ultra Pee Pee… Pee Pee... His pee pee was very very distressed right now… Ohhh the moose...

“You’re…” Dib tried once more, swallowing down a chunk of saliva and forcing his mind to finally say what it was that surprised and scared him so much. “You’re tall.”

Zim stopped his stride about ten feet from the table and nodded modestly, as though savoring a compliment. Dib though, not enjoying the fearless look on the aliens face, took a worried step back and stood straight no longer bothering to hide any part of himself although he did cup his left hand over his… pee pee region and tucked his legs one on top of the other. The creature before him was more than just tall, he was intimidating. At full height he met perhaps two or three inches over Dib, with the help of his boots and not including the antenna. He had long legs that looked like all muscle, not perfectly toned but sturdy, though Dib couldn’t quite tell through the close fitting pants that clung to them. His torso curved inwards, hips a bit broad and feminine in nature. His chest widen nicely out towards his neck though, leading up to almost impossibly angled shoulders. And his head fit his body perfectly. Neither too big or too small even though his eyes still took up about half of his face. But that’s what aliens were supposed to look like.

And yet…

_** “You may gaze at me all you like Dib. But I’m afraid it won’t change anything.” ** _

Dib shook his head rapidly hoping that the sight before him would in fact change if he waited long enough.

“Wha... Where... am I?” The stammered question rose out of his mouth without thought, it wasn't of course the first question he wanted to ask but the first one that came out without hindrance.

_** “On my latest and grandest creation! My spaceship! The Zealot In Madness Mark Y!” ** _

The echoing proclamation gave the boy a second to drink the name in.

“Zealot... In Madn-... Does that spell… ZIMMY?”

_**“Yes.”**_ Zim answered passionately, the smile on his face unwavering.

“You named your ship after yourself?”

_** “I spent many long hours trying to think of a name worthy of this ship that will bring about utter fear and the total domination of many galaxies! After all that useless annoying thinking, I came to the conclusion that there was no name more ferocious than my own! So, what do you think?” ** _

“Why would you think your name is terrifying enough to name your ship after it?!” Dib asked, slightly baffled.

_** “Say my name.” ** _

“What?”

Yep. He was definitely baffled. 

_**“Say my name.”**_ Zim commanded again, his alien eyes lifted in annoyed impatience.

“Zim.” Dib let the word slide from his mouth with a hint of malice and contempt, his body contracted, his lungs felt like they fell in his chest a bit, and his whole frame dropped back in expected catastrophe. Every time he had to say that name it felt like it was because of something horrible. Every twitch his body was making, it was muscle memory now.

_** “See?” ** _

Dib's wide eyes blinked a few times in staggered confusion. Had Zim just picked up on his vocal cues? The lingering fear and hate in his whole stance? Either way though, that name was seriously stupid.

“Okay…” Dib spoke slowly, trying to round himself to look more assertive. “What happened to you?”

Zim chuckled again and it made the boy’s skin crawl.

_**“An experiment.” **_ The alien spoke calmly as he began to take a small turn about the room. Dib watched Zim’s every move with heightened awareness, like a hawk watching its prey, too scared to blink but trembling so much that his fingertips tingled. _**“A grueling, painful, daring experiment. Absolutely taboo and nearly impossible to perform correctly.**_

“What did you do?” Dib felt his butt clench, actually his entire body clench, but definitely his butt in particular.

Zim stopped pacing and turned very seriously towards the human boy, arms outstretched in a kind of relish, his wide grin and slightly opened mouth sealing off any breath the observing human boy tried to take. He took a loud and heavy breath in, holding it inside his alien organs for a few seconds before releasing it with godlike satisfaction. 

_**“It’s a long story.”**_ The alien finally pronounced, the sudden drab tone in his voice abruptly ending the topic. If the two had been in a cartoon, Dib was sure he would have fallen over dramatically from the lackluster way that punchline had just been delivered. This however was not a cartoon so Dib simply had to stand with an awkwardly clenched butt hole as the alien continued to speak. _ **“Suffice it to say, I spliced myself with the DNA of The Tallests.”**_

“That’s it?!”

_**“That's what?”**_ Zim questioned, obviously not understanding what Dib was alluding to.

“Six years you’ve been gone just trying to be taller?!”

_**“No stupid!”**_ Zim scoffed defiantly. _**“The experiment took little time at all really. It was actually rather pathetic at how easy it was to obtain DNA from my superiors.”**_

Dib sighed. Of course it was...

“So what have you been doing for the past six years then?”

_** “AHHH YES! THAT! That is a far less interesting story but one I feel is more crucial to the plot and therefore FAR more worthy of a long drawn out monologue.” ** _

“Ohh damn it…” Zim cursed himself under his breath.

_** “The story begins years ago. I was out traveling the disgusting city you called Home-City, looking for a human specimen akin in personality to that ridiculously happy boy I had recently been testing multi-vitamin exploding gumdrops on. My search led me to the mall -fiendish place- and through the crowds I searched for hours, stabbing my happiness prob into the spines of anyone who looked even slightly giddy to my superior eyes! I finally came to a place where everyone was standing in a long line giggling and drooling like vermin pigglies.” ** _

“Pigglies?” Dib interjected, always the skeptic and commentator of Zim’s terrible representation of human speech and behavior.

_**“Silence! My story is not done! I was intrigued but what made these humans so happy, so I stormed my way to the front of the line and came face to face with the reason. President Man, live in person, obviously, waving to the crowd like a buffoon!** **You know out of all the words this wretched planet speaks, I find that one to be the most pleasant.** **I was then told by a lady with a horrible hair-do that this event was a book signing. And since I was undoubtedly the superior creature of intellect,** **and had stabbed my way to first in line** **, I was giving a complimentary signed copy of the newly published document! THAT was how I-… What are you doing?”**_ Zim suddenly stopped as he noticed the human boy shifting oddly from foot to foot and was slowly rubbing his skin in a strange manner.

“I’m cold.” Dib replied with sass, giving the alien a very unamused look as he spoke.

**_ “Why?” _ **

“Because I'm naked?!” The retort the boy spoke was admonishing; bold indeed, considering the state and location he was currently in.

The two beings gazed at each other for a good ten seconds in silence, neither quite knowing what to say next and both rather uncomfortable in their equally predisposed pride.

_**“You’re clothes aren’t here.” **_ Zim finally pointed out; a comment to which Dib just rolled his eyes.

“Great. So why am I naked in the first place?”

Zim now paused open mouthed, a breath leaving him like he was about to speak but decided against it, or as if he couldn't quite remember the reason he had stripped the boy down to his birthday suit in the first place. It wouldn't have surprised Dib at all if the alien had forgotten the reason but by the curl of the green creature’s thin lips even now he was guessing it wasn’t due to bad memory at all. With the silence, Dib took the chance to look at the room he was standing in. It seemed like a bedroom, maybe. The table in the center was very unnatural and out of place but the rest of the surroundings seemed decently normal. There was a bookcase in the back right corner with a couch and a rug in front of it, then in the corner across from that there was an open hallway which probably led to some other chamber. A bathroom maybe? Then to Dib's front and slightly to the left, and also behind Zim, was a door, large, demeaning, and an oddly bright green. And lastly to what he could see directly to his left and pulled away from the wall a bit was one of the largest canopy beds Dib had ever seen in his life. Draped with more green slightly see through linens, what looked like a dozen huge fluffy blue pillows, and a majestic deep black heavy blanket that sparkled when you looked at it in just right (but obviously it wasn’t sparkles in it. Or at least he hoped they weren’t. Could aliens sparkle? Nah… That was just a trick for stupid marshmallow vampires from those idiotic romance movie commercials he had been forced to watch while waiting for Mysterious Mysteries to come back on every Thursday night). In all though, the room was really quite elegant and the sight of it set an uneasy feeling in the boy’s mind. It all looked so human and that was beyond weird for Zim.

_**“I suppose something to cover your skin wouldn’t impede anything.”**_ The green creature said in a slightly exasperated tone.

“Impede?” Dib mumbled to himself as his shuffled legs together after Zim who guided him leisurely towards the bed.

_**“Here.”**_ Zim wrenched the heavy blackish (not sparkly!) blanket from the bed and handed it over to Dib, most of it fallen to the floor first but Dib didn’t complain. He grabbed at it with some suspicion at first but as soon as he had wrapped it around his naked body he found himself suddenly more relaxed and in the warm comforting feeling he didn't expect from an alien made blanket.

_**“Now then,”**_  The alien resumed, walking away from the boy and back towards the middle of the room. ** _“The book I was given was called THE MOST SECRET TOP TEN SECRETS OF PRESIDENT MAN and it turned out to be incredibly insightful! Filled with facts about the man’s personal life, his hidden treasure room of Barbies and Uncare Bears, his cat’s real name, his love of noodle cake, and most interestingly, his own secret dealings at a highly classified government base called Area #34.”_**

Dib nearly bit down on his tongue as Zim mentioned Area #34, the surprise and fear leaking out of him as a quick inhale and a worried shiver. The boy told himself to hide it quickly after, pulling the blanket a bit tighter around him and rubbing his arms heavily to suggest a cold chill, but Dib’s face and clenched jaw had given him away and Zim caught onto it immediately.

_**“So you know of it. I wouldn't doubt that someone like you would have at least heard of it in passing. After all, Area #34 was thought to be a government holding and experiment sight for,”**_ Zim paused for dramatic effect. **_“Aliens.”_**

“It exists?!” Dib let too much emotion release with his words, the curiosity and shock in the tone causing the alien’s eyes to glisten.

_** “Ohh yes, it exists. I knew I had to investigate this place, so I ingeniously disguised myself and infiltrated it under the cover of midday! However, it wasn't at all what I was expecting. There were no actual aliens held there, although there were plenty of freaky looking humans I at first thought were aliens, gross slugs of duck innards. I eventually forced a guard to give me the information about the strange place after an hour of torture and adorable belly rubs -I've posted the video of the belly rubs online- and learned that it was a location used by government and local officials as a way to... relieve stress.” ** _

“Relieve stress?” The boy didn't like the sound of that at all.

**_ “Yes... A refuge to help relieve an odd problem I had never known previously existed in the human race. You see Dib, It is called sexual tension, and at this Area #34 these humans wildest and weirdest fantasies came true in an attempt to relieve that stress.” _ **

Dib took in the information with stoic fear, pulling the blanket farther upon him and letting his awkward eyes wander around him again for a cautious second. (He just could not get over how cool the blanket was! It was black, but black like black metal! So shiny and lustrous...)

_**“It was… terrifying to watch,” **_ Zim’s lips curled upwards as he spoke very nonchalantly about the topic that was making every part of Dib's body turn slowly numb.  ** _“and oh so very enlightening! Humankind's weakness! Its ultimate undoing and greatest pleasure! I captured many of your people over the next few years, testing to see how totally enslaving this desire for sexual relief truly was. And the result was incredible. This Sexual Tension. It is encompassing! Nearly no one can resist it,_ _except for those weird monk-y temple people on that one crazy backwater continent. Weridos.._ _. Your kind even feeds it to you with everything you see, read, and hear! The insanity it creates is beautiful! Beautiful enough even for someone of superior intellect like me to appreciate.”_**

Zim paced the room back towards the table the human boy had been laying on, letting his fingertips scrap along the surface top. He did so slowly, gazing cautiously at the earthling and making sure he watched undistracted as two of his fingers began to walk as though legs along the smooth table. Dib heard his heart thumping. He watched just as Zim wanted him to, gazing at that table, the one he had been lying on, the suspicion and insinuation of Zim finger's petting the top sending a whirlwind of thoughts through his brain. 

**_ “You yourself deal with it too, don’t you, Dib?” _ **

The human boy smashed his lips together and desperately wished for a key to lock them with.

**_ “Alone in your room? Scanning over pictures of me and other strange creatures?” _ **

How had Zim..?! How had he known that?!

A sudden horror squirmed inside Dib's stomach as he continued to stare at the table he had been previously laying on, another terrifying thought rising up in him. Had Zim... done something to him while he was out? He obviously wasn’t sure and had no real way to tell, but he was hoping to whatever power governed the universe that he hadn’t.

But, a table. A smooth rustless table perfectly fit for him as he laid upon it... Arms and legs clasped down in submission. As though he was being observed. Bare naked… In the middle of the room… Oh god...

“Did you…” Dib choked, his eyes wide in terror. "Did you read my mind?!”

**_“What?”_** Zim jerked his chin in surprise by the question.

“The table. How did you?! It's in the middle of the room! “ Dib floundered, he didn't want to continue talking anymore but a lack of confidence somehow implored him to continue spilling his guts. He felt heat in his checks, a strange lightheadedness, and a dryness in his mouth. “But you were-...! You knew?!”

**_"Yes, the table is in the middle of the room... Where else does a table go?"_** Zim asked with a wrinkled forehead, no longer certain that the boy in front of him was sane, or at least perhaps still a bit moonstruck from the drug.

“Wait? You didn't read my mind?!"

The alien remained silent, simply maintaining his furrowing brow in complete confusion and surprise.

"I..." Dib gasped breathlessly with embarrassment, his eyes falling to the ground beside of Zim. “Ummm, never mind...”

_Shit… How stupid could he be, bursting out like that?! Of course Zim had him on an observation table. He's an alien. That's what aliens do! Outside of those creepy ones that impregnate the species they invade..._

Dib’s mind blipped images of his happy place in his head, of a place not quite unlike this, well lit, a table in the center of the room, only with Zim on it instead of him, bound and helpless (Remember? Chapter one? I keep alluding to it you know! Maybe you should go back and read it again! Meany...). Zim... So perfectly helpless... His capture. His... 

_Fuck, stop thinking about that!_ Dib commanded himself as he subconsciously began stretching his left hand downwards near his pelvis.

**_“Okay…”_**   The stupefied alien said blandly, his confidence also evidently rattled by the humans sudden outbursts as well as the way the boy seemed to now be having some sort of strange inner monologue complete with very dramatic facial expressions.

“So… That’s what your going to do?! Enslave the human race with sex?!” Dib finally spoke with blanket balled fists, trying to change the subject away from him and the things he did and thought alone in his room, and the things he was kind of thinking about now...

**_ “That was part of my plan, yes.” _ **

“It’ll never work, Zim! Humans are more complex than that!” Dib’s flushed face and swimming head gave him no reason to think before speaking. “Yeah, sure we like sex but we also need love to make us really happy! You can't control that though, can you?!”

**_“No.”_** Zim answered almost immediately, stepping off a bit from the table and out towards the door again. His voice was far calmer than Dib was expecting, especially since he noticed the aliens intertwined fingers anxiously twisting behind his back. _**“I can not control man’s strange desire for love, even when that love is simply of themselves. I will not deny, it astounds me. Even after all my research, it is still the most ridiculous emotion that governs mankind.”**_

Zim’s sudden pacing stopped and he glanced his head alone back with a strange wispy gaze towards the human.

**_ “But I have a feeling that humans need even more than just love and sex to make them happy. Strangely like my kind, they need ambition. Something to strive for. Something, for example... to conquer.” _ **

Dib didn’t like the way Zim’s eyes were glistening in the alien light that filled the room.

**_“So with that said,”_**  He began again, turning quickly on his heels to face the human boy proudly, his coattails swishing captivatingly out behind him as he did. **_“I have an offer for you, Dib. One I hope you will accept.”_**

“What?” The boy shuffled back a foot trying not to run into the bed or step on the blanket as he did. He was no longer feeling aroused, that was for damn sure. 

**_ “Join me.” _ **

The beating of the boy’s heart became the loudest noise in the room. Neither being moved, save for their eyes which Dib threw around in every direction possible to avoid contact with the aliens huge irises. Not an easy trick mind you for someone who wears glasses. Staring around was like staring at your own nose, he could always catch the outline of his frames just in his peripheral, which on one of his more horrid days at high school had given him the chance to realize that someone had stuck a leach to his glasses. He was in the nurse's office for six hours that day, and when he finally got home he was so pale and weak that he passed out on the doorstep. Dib woke up the next day to find that Gaz had spray painted “Home Stupid Home” on his back while he was out.

Back to the matter at hand though, Zim’s stance before him was compelling, proud, unfaltering, and completely natural for the impulsive alien. Not at all how he figured Zim would look after straight up asking him, a human, to join him in his, well… mission? Lifestyle? Stupidity? What was he asking him for exactly? Whatever it was though, it couldn’t have anything good for the Earth in mind. This scenario reminded Dib of that one time the alien had stormed into his house uncontested and unafraid to ask for… Binoculars? A telescope? Well he had asked for something! It’s not like he could remember all the details of every single one of their interactions…

“Are you sick?” Dib finally asked with honest concern.

**_ “Irkens do not get sick, fool.” _ **

“Okay… Then, you want me… To join you?”

**_“Yes. ”_** Zim confirmed, adding a small nod of his head as well.

“And what does that entail?”

**_ “Everything, including my conquer of this galaxy in the name of the Irken Armada.” _ **

“You’re sick.”

**_“I am no such thing!”_** Zim barked with indignity.

“Then explain why your asking me such a crazy question, huh!?” Dib shouted, his body now in defensive mode as he panted a couple breaths. What stupid game was Zim trying to play with him now? “You just asked me, ME, your nemesis if you had forgotten, to join you! What part of all those times as kids I stopped you from destroying the human race did you forget in the past six years?!”

**_ “None of them.” _ **

Dib caught himself open mouth.

“You…” The human began, swooning to his left to start pacing the room a bit himself, it was more of a shuffle really though. “You planned this. You did something to me! Something while I was out, you put something inside me! Something that’s going to force me to help you with your evil plans!”

**_ “I can assure you, Dib, I did nothing to you while you were unconscious although the thought did cross my mind.” _ **

“My organs?!” Dib screamed letting the blanket fall from his shoulders a tad so he could look down at his chest and abdomen.

**_“Untouched. ”_ **

“That’s hardly reassuring, Zim!” The boy spat as he continued to look downward at his skin, now scanning his arms to possibly find any sort of strange scar. All he found was the mark on his ribs from that time he had mistaken a pinata for an alien at a local neighborhood boy's birthday party and as he tried to intervene had received a colorful paper wrapped stick to his chest. That was a bad day trying to explain to his father why he had come between a child and their candy. He was trying to save the planet after all! Why could no one understand that?

**_“Would you cease your stupid looking already!”_** The alien yelled impatiently when he realized the boy was not to be convinced. **_“I did not inject you with anything or remove anything from your body. This skepticism of me is boring, Dib. If I wanted you as a slave do you really think I would have bothered going to all this trouble of bringing you here and then releasing you as though some squeaky poop-dog toy?”_**

“Poop-dog was a rapper.” Dib responded in a low tone after a confused moment of silence from Zim's lack of skill with human speech and metaphors. 

**_ “Enough!”  _**

The proclamation startled the human, forcing unexpected cowardice into his will and body as he shuffled backwards a few paces, not realizing he was following the edge of the bed as he moved. His back and hand suddenly found and gripped the nearby bed post but even that held no empowerment as the alien strode forward towards the cowering boy.

“Stop this Zim! You… You can’t force me to do anything!” Dib said before letting go of the post and once again began shuffling fearfully backwards along the bed's edge in a hazy panic as his nemesis approached.

_**“Force you?”**_ The alien cackled indignantly, stepping towards the boy in rhythmic fashion, neither too fast nor too slow. **_“I’m not going to force you to do anything.”_**

“You’re… You're not?”

**_“No. You see Dib, I think that you actually want all this. You used to thrive on chasing me, on foiling my plans. It gave you a reason to come to that horrible, HORRIBLE Skool place everyday.”_** The alien shuddered a bit as he finished his sentence.

“Why would I want any of this!? And every kid that age goes to Skool!” Dib yelled in retort, not sure what he was even saying anymore.

**_“My existence was your purpose Dib! Is your purpose! My life, my knowledge, my access across the universe! Don’t you see? I’m giving this all to you."_**   Zim stopped his advance and waved his arms out wide. ** _“I brought you here to give you this. But if you are truly so stupid that you wish to leave then I give you this choice,_** ** _that hallway over there leads to a small ship you may use to navigate back to Earth.”_**

The aliens eyes and neck strained right a tad and Dib remembered the hallway on the far side of the room that he had thought before maybe led to a bathroom. He hoped led to a bathroom. Did aliens even use bathrooms? Or was the Irken race so technologically advanced that they had some sort of matter warping device that could rid their bowels of any smelly alien... matter without need of a bathroom? Was something like that even possible? _But that would be so cool,_ Dib found himself thinking randomly, also visualizing an earth years in the future that had no need of bathrooms anymore. What a life. 

“Wait... What?” The boy finally replied after a brief moment of daydreaming. 

**_ “Leave. If that is what you want. It is your choice now.” _ **

Finally back to reality and remembering what they were talking about, Dib stammered in confusion. Even as convincing as Zim’s lustrous voice was, he had no intention of believing him. It was just too convenient. 

“Okay…Then- Then answer me this! Why did you strip me naked if you intended to let me go whenever I wanted?!”

**_ “Ughhh! Incompetent jelly worm fool!"  _ **

"Hey!"

**_"To show that I no longer have any fear of you."_** The answer was surprisingly quick and threw the human boy off guard. ** _" There is nothing you can hide from me now.”_** 

“Wha?”

Yep. He was definitely thrown off guard.

**_“You. As you are. As no one else on your smudgy planet would ever dare look at you."_** Zim pointed a convicting finger forward. ****_"Earth doesn't want you, Dib. It never has.”_****

Dib continued his sputtering in disbelief, felt his hand slip from the bed and his feet stumble a tad backwards, slipping across the floor aimlessly. Had Zim just said? Just implied? The boy gazed about with quick wandering eyes, unsure of what to do or even say at this point, his feet seemed to be floating. Roaming towards the back corner, Dib stopped abruptly, noticed something that had been hidden from him when he stood near the table. It was a window. A massive picture window, that stood from floor to ceiling. Its gawking size terrified the boy at first as he gazed out at the sight before him. There in plain view, in all its majesty, he could see Earth. It was beautiful. It was magnificent. It was... Ewww, it was even kind of gross to look at from all the way up here.

_Damn it all..._

A sudden aggravation rose in the boy, the years of his youth flashing before his eyes. The years of mockery, of being the outcast. For all the crap everyone had given him, Earth didn't deserve to have no bathrooms! No pun intended. And so what if he was always far too busy trying to capture aliens and monsters all the time, it didn't mean he was the only one out there like him! There were other... fanatics besides just him! (did he just call himself a fanatic?) Other people trying to show Earth the truth that spirits, aliens, and monsters can rise up and walk among us if you give them shiny pants to wear and plenty of chocolate.

_Man that sounds stupid..._

But no matter. Someone out there would be interested in him someday! Someone out there wouldn't call him crazy... Someone... Someday would want to know him more!

**_ “I know you, Dib.” _ **

The earth boy nearly jumped out of his skin as he heard those cold cooing words as though they had once again read his thoughts.

**_ “Do you really intend to keep running away from the stinking obvious fact that you hate that planet as much as I do?” _ **

The boy clenched his fist. No. No, this was another trap, another diversion so Dib would remain here while Zim took his chance to destroy his world mercilessly. But the hallway, that more than likely wasn't a trap, Zim was far too stupid to lie so perfectly. That hallway must lead out to a ship. And to get there... Damn it. Dib in his once again stupefied state had almost perfectly backed himself into a corner, the bed now blocking his chance at sprinting for freedom. But maybe that was better? All he needed was Zim to come a bit closer, then a quick scrambled across the bed, maybe even throwing the covers he wore over Zim to hinder him might just give him enough time to outmaneuver his alien nemesis and flee his way to safety. A naked safety, but safety nonetheless!

**_“Middle Skool is over. Times have changed. You and I,”_** The green creature paused his monologue as he continued walking towards his capture. ** _“have changed as well.”_**

“I haven’t changed!” Dib spat, trying to stand proud to show his determination while noting every step the alien took and how much farther he would need before he could make his escape. “I will still capture you!”

_**“Is that really all you want, Dib? To expose me? Ha! Don't make me laugh! Or do, actually, I enjoy laughing maniacally quite a bit. But so what if you open up the minds of that whole world to the existence of aliens such as I? You and I both know what will happen after that! All the little meat sacks of that disgusting world will become paranormal stalkers!”** _

“I’m an investigator-!”

**_“I AM STILL TALKING HERE!"_**   Zim’s passion roared again, causing the human boy to twitch at the domineering tone. **_“Now tell me! Then what will you do?! What will happen when everyone else is just like you, Dib!?”_**

Dib swallowed hard, his eyes beginning to water up from fear holding them open so long.

**_“Look at it, Dib. Think of it. Soon everyone will be a little copy of you.”_**  The alien offered out a glance towards the looming clear window and followed up with another long step forward towards him. 

Zim was close. Maybe too close now. But Dib couldn’t move. A couple feet from the bed he felt his heart hammer away like a drum, the muscles in his legs weighted like lead. Steadily staring at the broad domineering creature before him, Dib watched light rose colored eyes pierce his soul like a laser pierces flesh with no blood drawn, just a silent lethal tear.

**_“You won’t be different anymore, you’ll be just like all those other sniveling worms down there.”_**   Zim stepped again and grabbed the hesitating boy by the left forearm, shoving him forcefully towards the looming window so his eyes fell without escape upon the world outside. **_“That planet! On that planet you’ll be honored at first, oh yes! But soon forgotten as the Queen Elephants and President Mans and mindless totalitarian capitalist democratic autocracy’s take your little victory and rewrite their own agendas over it!”_**

“That doesn’t make any sense...” Dib whispered apparently loud enough for Zim to hear as the grip on his arm tightened slightly.

The pressure brought a strange clarity to Dib’s mind. Not in the way that made any sense of that of that last sentence, but the feeling Zim’s hold inspired in him made him realize one important thing. Actually... Never mind. He didn’t know what to think anymore.

“Zim please, just let me go.” He thoughtlessly pleaded, grasping fervently at the hand that squeezed his flesh, but Zim refused release.

**_ “Go? Go where, Dib?” _ **

“Let me go ho-.” the boy choked as he tried to say the last word in the sentence, knowing all too well how horribly pathetic he must have been looking and sounding right now.

**_“No Dib.”_** The unrelenting sensual tone of the alien continued. Zim took one last step forward before thrusting the boy back towards him, his other hand reaching out to grip firmly near the right side of the boy’s neck ** _“I don’t think that’s what you want at all.”_**

Dib felt all possible means of escape vanish. Stupid. He had allowed himself to be caught... Again. (He does that a lot for some reason.) But this time there was a definite "why" that he had to ask himself. Zim’s hands held him strong, a strength he oddly wasn't fighting against. All Dib could do was clutch the bottomless black blanket around his bare skin to his chest, his breath heavy and coarse as it huffed from his lips. The boy's head hung unconsciously low, glasses nearly slipping off his nose, knees bent and staggered to brace his body as it quaked in the clutches of his enemy. (Crap. There needs to be a joke in this paragraph somewhere! Ummm... Dookie! There. That should suffice.) 

All that time the boy had spent telling himself he was stronger than any alien. But now... 

**_“You’re tired, aren’t you?”_** The question was whispered into the air so softly that it sounded almost as though it was coming from inside the boy’s head.

“Tired?” Dib whimpered, his heart thumping endless seconds of apprehension though his muscles.

**_ “Yes, tired of being forced to stay on a world you can’t even call home. Tired of the ridicule and the teasing. The whispers behind your back and all the damn wedgies!” _ **

“I… I can’t be tired.”

**_“If not tired then tell me, Dib. Tell me the truth.”_** Zim’s voice, confident and overbearing, echoed throughout the room.

_You idiot._  Dib berated himself for the lie he had just spoken. He was tired, tired of so many things... His body and mind had been telling him the truth for years now. He’d just been too stubborn to listen.

“I’m…”

_I… fell in love with an alien… Six years..._

“I…”

The boy felt strangled. The heat of his own panicking body closing his airways like he was standing in a barren desert.

“I want… I just...” Dib swallowed so hard he had to gasp for breath afterwards. He had nothing left now. No secrets or walls to hide him. No one to save him. All the powers in the universe knew that certainly Gaz wasn't going to bother this time. Even if she did come to save him, one look at his naked body and she would die laughing.  _I wonder what she's up to... She had better not be taping over my four hundredth episode of Mysterious Mysteries!_  But even if she wasn't once again destroying the TV episodes he loved, it wasn't like he could watch it out here in space so the thought was a moot point, but no matter. Back to the more pressing issues, Dib had to try. Damn it, he had to... And this was as bad or good or neutral a time as any. 

“Can you...?" The boy lifted his head though his eyes were still too nervous to perfectly gaze up into the face of his 'enemy'. He felt like there were a million cameras on him, watching the twitches of his cheeks, the small drips of salty sweat creeping on his hair line. The room looked dimmer suddenly but also felt smaller, just the two of them. Alone. Time to get this over with. Whatever feeling was inside of him needed to be confirmed here and now. Maybe he hadn't dreamed of this moment, but in his bedroom, sitting in front of his computer, he had day-dreamed it. The two of them, a bit reversed in role, but that wasn't something he was feeling too picky about right now.

"Just... kiss me.”

There was a pause as silence froze the air between them. Dib could have died of embarrassment. 

**_“A very human request.”_** Zim chuckled condescendingly as he slowly moved his head in a swimming motion to the side like a serpent would as it assessed its prey.

“You-! I am human, stupid!” Dib suddenly barked in the face of his captor, his own cheeks and neck full flushed. He writhed for a moment in the alien’s grasp like a child, the cold sting of alien arrogance taking away all initial fear and subjugation he had felt towards Zim. “You bring me here, tie me down, confuse the hell out of me, then laugh at me when I act human?!”

Zim rolled his eyes repugnantly, his body shifting carelessly against the movement the human made against him, but even still, he never let his grip go.

**_ “Would you quit your squirmy tantrum? I never denied your request, squirmy creature!” _ **

With a sudden jerk, Dib was pulled inwards, breathless, heart hammering as thin alien lips pressed into his own. Zim’s rose eyes closed with the action, a strange submission Dib was not expecting as his stayed violently open in indescribable emotion. The alien’s hands eased on the boy’s skin, almost holding him in a caress now and Dib was sure his knees were going to give way.

This... This was madness. What possible explanation could there be? His first kiss was with... What cruel prank was this? And... He had asked for it. This sensation that was irregular, demandingly soft and gentle. Dib felt like tears would emerge from the corners of his eyes if he closed them, all the welling emotion he felt leaked away in a wet streak down his hot crimson cheek.

Dib remained numbly stiff as Zim pulled them apart after a time, both lips sticky from the contact.

**_“There. Did that suffice?”_** Zim asked when Dib remained speechless and observingly unmoved. **_“Did I do it incorrectly?”_**

Deathly still, arms pinned, the boy remained. There was nothing in Dib that wanted to revolt there in the alien’s grasp.

**_ “What? Are your human kisses different than the one I just gave you?” _ **

There was however another voice, edging Dib to do something else, something he was not sure he wanted to relinquish to.

**_ “I researched the art of sexual passion extensively and I can’t think of one thing wrong with our lip to lip connection!” _ **

“There was something missing.” Dib mumbled after a moment although he wasn't quite sure what he was saying. That had been his first kiss, he had no room to claim it was inferior to another, it was simple pride that told him to act like it wasn’t.

_**“Ugh… That stupid Internets of yours is seriously useless. So tell me! Tell me what I did wrong!”**_ Zim scowled in agitation.

Dib chuckled to mask his shaking nerves and to laugh a tad at the obviously irritated alien as he snarled oddly more like a human child than an alien. A smile appeared awkwardly in turn, the upward pull of Dib's soft lips felt unnatural at this moment but also tantalizing as he licked his lips right after. He could taste something slimy. Alien chap-stick?

“Pu- Put your arms around my back.” Dib ordered, letting his hesitant gaze rise to look at the green skinned creature before him who was still waiting for correction. Dib was trying to think through all the video’s he had watched online… french kiss, cowboy kiss, city cowboy kiss, the Cocofang kiss… one of them would have to be upside down for that one. They all sounded really stupid now, except for maybe the french one, those french people are crazy but can make a damn good chocolate mush souffle.

Zim complied readily.

**_ “Now what?” _ **

“I-… I do this.” Dib closed his eyes and let the single pent up emotional tear fall as he knew it would and technically needed it to. Quickly pulling his body up against Zim’s, Dib hoped the eye leakage would go unnoticed, unperceived as lips were once against thrust upon lips in the heavy silence of this awkward human-like room.

The blanket dropped from the boys grasp, only now held up by the wrapped arms of the alien around his back. Dib launched his arms up around the aliens neck, pulling down on it just a tad in the height difference. Sure, this was pure madness. That’s what all this ever was. Every day he had spent in Skool with Zim. Every weekend he had spent using his fathers Membrane Enhanced Binoculars to spy on Zim's house (they were just regular binoculars with the name Membrane on them). And now this, his naked body up against a green Irken alien with its soft moisturized lips coddling his own not moisturized lips… He felt a little bad about that. His lips were super chapped at the moment.

It wasn’t a long kiss, just long enough to to where Dib felt suffocated from the lack of a normal breath. Lips pulled apart with two audible exhales. The duo shifted slightly, moving as though dance partners being pushed and pulled by each other. By the feeling in his checks, Dib was sure they were on fire, flush with a pink hue not much different than the color of the rich eyes that stared at him.

**_ “I don’t see the difference.” _ **

The words turned Dib rigid in embarrassment.

“Sorry, it was my first time kissing something other than my pillow so I'm sorry if it wasn't magical or fantastic or groundbreaking or magical or anything!” The boy spoke with floundering haste.

**_“You said magical twice.”_** Zim noted to Dib’s agitation.

“Shut it!” The boy spoke with a high pitched whine, after which his cheeks grew even warmer. He hated when his voice cracked. He always sounded so damn girly. “So… What exactly was your plan for what happens now?”

**_ “Are you ready now?” _ **

“Ready for what?” Dib asked weakly, slipping his arms down off the alien a bit. 

_ **"To join me."** _ The answer seemed so straightforward mixed along with Zim 's unimpressed tone by the boy's question.

"I-... I guess so. But is that it? I just say yes and you and I fly off into space together?" 

_ **"No... We're not to that part yet."** _ The alien now cocked his head and his brow furrowed slightly. _ **"I would've thought that what's supposed to happen next was fairly obvious."** _

_Obvious? How could it possibly be obvious?_ Dib thought. What was he supposed to do? Just look around and once again see something that would move the plot along like that suddenly appearing a very convenient picture window that Dib somehow hadn't noticed until just a bit ago? Wait... Plot? Why was he thinking like this? This wasn't some stupid science fiction comic he was reading! This was real life. Real life on an alien spaceship. Now then, if it really was so obvious... Then back to his roots. Investigator training online had taught him that caution was key to making it through any peculiar situations. Not that he had used that caution in his kitchen… But anyone could have made such a stupid mistake!

**Training Lesson One:** Assess your surroundings.

Zim had brought him to a bedroom. Not a holding cell or spaceship lab. This was definitely a bedroom.

**Training Lesson Two:** Avoid contact with anyone suspicious to avoid sticky situations. You're not an actual investigator so don’t try to be a hero.

_Fuck._

**Training Lesson Three:** If it looks like the movies, act like it's the movies. Remember, when in Rome be as dramatic and over the top as possible.

“Is this the bed scene?” The boy finally asked after taking a second to look around and think about what they had been doing for the last couple minutes.

**_ “The what?” _ **

“On TV isn't this the scenario where the dominant takes the ‘sub’ to," He paused, embarrassed that he was saying these things even if this was his first time, "bed?”

**_ “Wow, you really are just figuring that out. I thought you were just playing dumb.” _ **

Dib rolled his shoulders forward in shame.

“Wait! Why do you get say things like that?” He questioned, suddenly noticing that his recent dialog and actions had been very awkward and very reminiscent of a bad teenage drama he had TOTALLY NEVER watched before in his life... ... ... It was Gaz's fault!

**_“I’m the dominant one here."_** Zim answered sensually.

“Yeah?! Says who!?”

**_ “Says the alien who captured you, stripped you naked, and who you begged to kiss you.” _ **

“Ohh. Right...”

_Of course he had._

Zim had captured him, stripped him naked, kissed him, and now was planning on...

Dib stole a glance at the bed next to them. What had he gotten himself into? 

The alien’s crooked smile appeared with a vengeance and his arms began to shift over the boy’s back causing yet another chill thrumming down Dib’s spine. Wistfully the feeling of heavy contact calmed the boy's facial muscles, his eyeslids closing shut and his chin lifting skywards. Zim was culling him, placing him into a sublime feeling of submission with this hold. One green arm slipped out of the blanket and gently rubbed the boys bare shoulder blades while the other lazed downward, fingers outstretched and grasping soft ample blanket covered skin around Dib’s waistline.

**_ “I'll give you something, Dib. Something I’ve never even considered giving anyone else.” _ **

“What?”

**_“Me.”_** The alien lulled his head forward and closed his eyes, his alien cheek brushing against the boy’s own as he rested upon the human’s shoulder, mouth and lips turned up near the ear. **_“Capture me, Dib. Take me as your own and I'll do the same for you. Would that make you happy?”_**

“Yes…” Dib felt his body swim, the slithering alien words leaving him infantile and limp. Was this what being enamored felt like? Or was this just a normal chemical reaction to being kissed and held in a dangerously hypnotic embrace? Even his heart felt like it was about to spring out of his chest. And he could smell it, green alien skin; Dib's sexual tension. An aroma that pleasantly reminded him of just how needy and nonresistant he was being, and he was okay with that. He was tired of Earth after all. 

Six years... 

“Give me everything you’ve got Zim, I’ve waited too long.”

 

❄. ❄. ❄. ❄. ❄. ❄. ❄. ❄. ❄. ❄. ❄.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oooh Dib and Zim. The two of you finally reunited! 
> 
> Zim, I am filled to the brim with your alien dookie majesty! And Dib, stop being such a whiny baby and relinquish your arteries to the All Mighty Zim as he demands of us all! 
> 
> Chapter 3 complete! Chapter 4-! -halts dramatically- Wait... Chapter 4?... Wasn't this story supposed to be over by now? 
> 
> Yes. Yes it was. This story has (once again) gained another chapter but technically its a Part 2 (Haha! Loopholes). Forgive me Zim! Garbage such as I is not worthy of being given another chance to place you and Dib in bed together, snuggled side by side against warm fluffy alien pillows and underneath The Blanket of Black Bodacious Blemishless Brilliance! Do aliens snuggle? No, no I don't think they do... so then... ohhh! Hehehe. Warning: next chapter will be very raunchy and full of alien kinkery!
> 
> So, word up my fellow Poop-slices! This is the b-b-b-beginning of the Doom Invasion! All my homies out there, you've just been pooped-on by the Poop-dog!
> 
> Room with a moose everyone. 
> 
> Room with a moose...
> 
> -From Cyprus  
> With Love. ❄


End file.
